What do you like your message on Tinder

Love on the net - wipe it away or flirt? - Self-experiment dating app

Wipe it away or flirt? - Self-experimenting dating app

The dating app Tinder is currently very popular with young people. Critics claim that Tinder is distilled superficiality because only pictures in profile count. Success depends on what you make of it. A self-experiment.

"Mama, how did you and papa actually get to know each other?"

"We matched each other on Tinder." Am I really going to tell my future child that I found dad using the free Tinder dating app?

Dave stands in the train station hall and waits. Red and black checked shirt, beard, flat cap, shorts, sneakers. “A hipster, that won't work”, I think and say “hello”. Dave was my first hit on Tinder.

The app shows me profiles of more or less flirtatious men. A picture with name, age and distance, whereby I determine age and distance in the search criteria.

Everyone can upload up to five pictures from their Facebook profile. Mutual friends and interests are also shown. If you like, write more information about it. The rest is simple: if I don't like it, I'll wipe it away by dragging their picture to the left with my thumb.

I liked Dave's profile, so I tapped the green heart. Dave also tapped my profile on the heart. Two seconds later we got the message from Tinder: "It fits".

Tinderians call this a match. “You and Dave love each other,” the app from Silicon Valley was convinced. I found the claim exaggerated. But now Dave and I could write to each other, which is only possible if both people tap the green heart.

I admit, I could have seen from his pictures that he wasn't my type, but I found them creative - at least unlike most of the photos on Tinder.

No topless posing spur type; no snowboarder at the edge of the piste stretching his Victory hand into the camera; no cuddling with a cat or a dolphin; no selfie in front of the bathroom mirror (some are wearing their sunglasses), and most importantly: no posing with any weapon. Dave just seemed to be Dave.

And so we walk from the train station to the lake, talk about Tinder, dates and relationships.

About tense Swiss who think five steps ahead before addressing someone they never address because step four reveals that one could possibly fail. We spoke to each other thanks to Tinder, but I know Dave won't be the father of my children.

Data to pass the time

How about the great love on Tinder? Opinions on the internet differ. One author sees Tinder as a pastime, like collecting Panini pictures: Your own heart skips briefly when you book a match. But most hits are quickly forgotten. Often you don't even write to each other. It happens to me too. At the slightest hint of boredom I'm gone, after all, hundreds of other potential matches are waiting.

The app is currently very popular with young singles. I ask the company about the number of users, but I'm practically wiped away - «We don't provide any information on that. Just this much: a billion profiles around the world are evaluated every day. "

In reports I read: The app reveals its own market value. Some men would click on all profiles and see which women it matches. A virtual game. And: Tinder is the quintessence of superficiality, because the individual is reduced to images. I disagree!

People on Tinder don't act more superficially than those looking for a potential partner or sex partner in bars or clubs.

When I was recently dancing in a club, I ran into guys who no longer even looked at the outside, but just chatted at every woman. Conclusion: the outside always comes first or not at all.

But: How someone speaks to me, what their voice sounds like, how they laugh, how they nod their heads, how they hold their glasses - all of that is missing in the virtual world. This is how I get messages from images of men; orient me on them and the lines. Imagine how they speak, move, laugh and know: It's just my imagination.

I meet Marco in a bar in Zurich. He wrote confidently and made me laugh with his messages. Unfortunately, it turns out that in real life he hardly nods his head, hardly laughs, but talks a lot, really a lot about himself. He asked me questions, but prefers to answer them himself. Conclusion: no children with Marco.

Relationship or Fast Sex?

I want to know from friends why they use the app. "With Tinder I know that I like her, otherwise I would be too shy to speak to her," says one. Another is looking for a relationship. He's hoping for the help of the app. Dave also said at the lake that he was looking for a girlfriend and not quick sex. Other users prefer the latter.

Saturday morning, I'm tindering. No, no, no, let's see, ui no, I like it, no, no, I like it. My smartphone vibrates. «You and Dani love each other». He writes «So good». We exchange a few words.

In the evening he asks for a Sunday coffee. We meet at the main train station in Zurich. He suggests the same bar that I would have suggested.

Along the way we find out that we work in the same industry. From then on we have things to talk about until we drop. I don't know what I like about him, and that's what I like.

We spend another afternoon together. A week later we go dancing. It's that evening when the guys in the club chat to every girl at random and I'm glad I'm there with Dani. We both think "It fits," the question remains as to how well.

My conclusion with a pinch of superficiality: Tinder is like buying clothes. Know what you want. Otherwise you wander through the shops; pushes bracket from left to right; collects clothes in the cabin and at the end forgets why you wanted to try them on.

Maybe you buy something cheap because it looks good and later notice that it no longer fits after the first wash - or did you just buy it for one evening?

But maybe you take the time and look for a piece that will last a long time; where you can say: "It fits."