Who needs friends more children or adults

Friendships among children

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Friendships are important and meaningful at any age. Child friendships are also an important part of development, especially in childhood and adolescence. But what exactly are friendships among children? How does the friendship concept develop over time? And why are friendships important?

The concept of friendship

When it comes to friendships among children, it is first necessary to consider what is meant by the concept of friendship. What exactly friendships look like, what requirements friends have to meet, how long the friendships last and what they are led to, changes with age.

Children usually make their first friendships at approx. 3 years, so in kindergarten age. At this point in time, friendships among children are still relative arbitrarily. For them, a friend is someone who plays with you, who gives you sweets or who implements a wish together with you. The friend should above all kind to be with the child and be good with them play can. Children of this age usually make friends quickly, but they often drop them just as quickly. However, if children have found someone with whom they can play particularly well, long-lasting friendships can develop among children even at this age.

in the Elementary school age Friendships among children are often shaped by the children's selfish motivation, theirs Satisfaction of needs serves. For example, a friend is whoever plays with them and what they want to play. In addition, friends should support them and stand by them in disputes with others and other problems.

The Support in problematic situations becomes more and more important in friendships among children with increasing age, including the Reciprocity as reciprocity increases with age. With approximately 10 years Friendship relationships are more designed to support each other rather than expecting your own personal support from the friend or expecting a “consideration” directly for a “performance” (only give toys if you receives a toy from the other person directly). The solidarity Among the friends gets a higher priority, just as it becomes more important that the friends trustworthy and keep secrets to themselves.

From the Adolescence then moves that too character focus on a friend. This is where the importance of Reciprocity further amplified, as well as more about intimate Feelings and thoughts spoken that the friend should keep to himself. Next trustworthiness will also be honesty more important, as well as reliability and sensitivity.

Taking advantage of friendships among children

But why are friendships among children so important? Friendships are important to children Development spacethat allows them to broaden their own self-centered outlook and compromise with others. Become in friendships Limits, willingness to compromise, problem-solving skills, independence and dealing with feelings Tried and tested, but also a realistic and positive one Self-image and self-esteem developed and the cognitive, social-emotional and moral development advanced. It can also make friendships Hold and orientation Offer. Friendships drive the development of children significantly and help them to become independent people who can interact with other people.

Support friendships

There are a few ways to encourage friendships among children. First of all, the starting position of the child is decisive for how well it can approach and engage with other children. So can children with a secure bond usually easier to approach others, as they have the necessary trust in relationships with others through the bond with their caregiver. On the other hand, children who are insecure have less general trust in relationships with other people, which is why it is usually more difficult for them to make friends. This applies not only to the bond with the parents, but also to the relationship with educators in kindergarten. Therefore is one successfulGetting used to kindergartenalso important.

If a child finds it particularly difficult to make friends in kindergarten and would like to have more contact with their peers, they can Supporting educators assist. So, for example, you can tell the child encourage and praise and encourage them for positive behavior. They can also act as positive role models by taking the children seriously and supporting them. In exchange with colleagues, you can individual approaches and support options be discussed and coordinated with individual children.

Also parents can play such a supportive role if the child shows particular difficulties in making contact. So you can add your child to it too encourageto approach other children or else Game dates make out with other parents and their child to encourage contact. In doing so, however, they should not pursue the goal of only allowing selected children as friends for their child.

Find the child Friend who may not fit into the parents' imaginationyou should do so anyway accept and get to know the child and possibly their parents better in order to break down prejudices. Game dates can help here, as can one Takeover of perspective of the parents makes sense. What does my child like about the other child? Is it possibly particularly creative when playing or can my child discover a lot of new things through it? Such questions can help parents to better understand the choice of friends of the child and thus to be able to accept them better.

The same applies to Disputes among friends. here we can Adults Likewise supportive stand by your side, but do not carry out the conflict for the children or act in a purely partial manner. Parents in particular think that devaluing the other child and the general friendship is comforting for their own child. However, this is rather counterproductive. Therefore, the cause of the dispute should be investigated together and solutions should be sought together. A clarifying conversation with both children can also be helpful here.


Friendships among children are important to theirs development and that in very different areas. What exactly is meant by friendship changes with the age of the children and adolescents. How long the friendships are also changes. If children find it particularly difficult to make friends, they can Adult supportive assist. However, they should not interfere too much and accept friends who initially do not correspond to their “ideal”. In the event of a dispute, adults can also provide support, however without being biased or biased to be.

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About the author J Bohlken