Why narcissists are so happy with the text

Too much is too much! Dealing with Narcissists. 30 tips for communicating with narcissists

98 comments

    • Anke Osburg on January 16, 2019 at 7:40 pm
      • Anke Osburg on January 16, 2019 at 7:50 pm
      • Christian on May 28, 2019 at 3:09 pm
    • A. on June 15, 2019 at 6:26 pm
      • Petra on November 15th, 2019 at 12:37 PM
      • Regi on December 10, 2019 at 1:15 pm

        Hello Petra,

        You won't make it, but it will destroy you.

        You know, your narcissist was a victim himself at some point, but has since become a perpetrator. A perpetrator who feeds on your energy and emotions like a monster. It is best to go before you get really hurt and expect the terror to start properly. There is no place for pity here, except for yourself.

        Imagine that you are addicted and have to wean yourself…. and please talk to someone who can tell you why you “love” someone who treats you badly, manipulates, lies and humiliates you. There is a reason! And it doesn't have to be bad, you just have to know it.

        Find your self-love, then you can laugh at him. Always keep in mind: he has no empathy, none at all.

        The fact is: You can only live with him when your soul ceases to exist, you accept incalculable attacks and allow him to use yours in every possible way. Don't get the idea at some point: then I'll become like him and pay him back. Believe me, he can do better.

        When he is done with it, he will officially exchange you, by the way, because you have become too weak to admire and appreciate him. If things go really bad, then he has already spread everywhere that you have psychological problems and can also "prove" them. By then you no longer have your circle of acquaintances, your friends are worried about you - because you are sick. Nobody will believe you.

        But do not think that you will have peace then;)

        People can change, not narcissists. They are flawless and not treatable (in contrast to all others).

      • P. on March 20, 2020 at 7:28 pm
      • Anonymous on June 2, 2020 at 2:37 pm
      • Janine on June 20, 2020 at 9:50 am
      • Sabine on June 30th, 2020 at 5:11 pm
      • Saskia on December 16, 2020 at 8:46 pm
    • Ronja Gehrke on August 28, 2019 at 6:19 pm
      • Lilie Salmacher on November 18, 2020 at 7:38 pm
    • Gerbera on June 9th, 2020 at 12:43 pm
      • Pepa on May 20, 2021 at 2:05 pm

        Hello Gerbera,

        what you write touches me very much. I think I feel the same way.
        I have a son, 10 years. He and I live with our narcissist in his house. And of course we have to obey.

        I turned on the youth welfare office because the situations that happened every day were getting worse and worse.

        A head narcissist lives in the neighborhood, of course the friend of our narcissist who had to let his wife go with his two children. The woman completely exhausted and in psychological treatment ... Well, yes.

        Believe me, you cannot expect any help from the youth welfare office! He's going to lull the people there so they won't do anything! Does the child get something to eat with him? - Yes. Is it being supplied economically? - Yes. Does he become brutal and violent towards the child? - no - Well, then everything is fine. If the child skips school and is in psychological care, then it will also be taken care of. That just happens. It will not be down to the father alone, but to all the circumstances as a whole.

        I myself have been accused by the youth welfare office of being a helicopter mother. It was too much for me that my son beats other children in the schoolyard and was therefore banned from school for a few days. Mind you: elementary school !!! Well, that's how boys are. - Original sound youth welfare office.

        That the father is a narcissist lies and cheats. The child is shown aggressive behavior. - So what. O-Ton Jugendamt: I'm not a psychologist. I can not judge over this. Break up.

        It will then continue like this. That doesn't suit the child. He won't pay alimony. - O-Ton: Youth Welfare Office: Then you get educational help.

        Haha.

        Find help elsewhere. You will not achieve anything in the places you have described.

        I can recommend a book (available for download) that will show you what to expect:
        I.
        Sven Grüttefien: Children together with a narcissist.

        In my opinion, it is always good to know what to expect. Better than fighting everything and then finding out again that you lose out.

        All the best. I also pass out every day anew.

        best regards
        Pepa

    • Kirsten on January 19, 2021 at 5:17 pm

      3 years ago my husband and I (50) broke up after 26 years of relationship and 3 children together.
      My ex-husband has been very fair to this day with regard to maintenance payments and house sales.
      After half a year of separation, i.e. 2 1/2 years ago, I met a new man.
      This man has courted me in a way that I had never seen before. Although I wasn't ready for a new acquaintance myself and tried to fend off that, he persisted, on the contrary, he intensified his messages and calls.
      Primarily he called me via video. He, handsome, with Italian roots, charming, helpful and empathetic. Despite two attempts on my part to block my contacts, I managed to get involved with him. This is how a relationship developed between him and me, but he only allowed me to be close when nobody was around.
      He invited me to himself and events in his shop. But always kept a distance from me, so that the impression never arose that we could be together.
      I was confused, but I left it that way and withdrew.
      As a result, he went all out again to get my attention.
      This stupid game has been going on for more than 2 1/2 years.
      He is and has been praised with pats on the back in recent years, confirming what a great woman I am. His adult children never tire of telling him what a great partner I am for him. I suspect it flatters him because he never tires of telling me that a large number of men would like to have closer contact with me, or that I am very liked. But now it is already so that it bothers him, that he, the star next to me, does not shine like that, maybe even bothers him. I then play it down, I play down my meaning so that he is better ...
      It is during this time that from the beginning he does everything badly, criticizes me. Be it how I raise my children, that I am financially independent. That I have it way too good.
      Whenever the opportunity arises, he never tires of mentioning how difficult his childhood was, with a single Italian mother in Germany, with foster parents and an apprenticeship (craft) that started early. His ex-wife is said to have been borderline and alcoholic. The various ex-girlfriends were more or less crazy and disturbed, at least according to his stories.
      Every craft he does, every meal he prepares, countless selfies, he posts on social media (Facebook) or in WhatsApp groups to get a like.
      I have never seen him self-critical, mistakes he makes are the fault of the others, but never himself.
      In the last 2 1/2 years he has met countless women next to me and lulled them like me, mostly they are temporarily blinded women living in other cities who are currently separated and or in similar weak conditions. But as soon as they respond to him and express a relationship wish, he is gone.
      He always plays the same game with everyone, it is as if he is drawing his self-worth, his worth as a person and a man, with each of them. It gets its size from the praise of others, without this urgently needed food, it is just a shell.

      If I try to clarify things with him, despite cautious criticism, he leaves me standing and walks away with stomping and cursing steps. Not worthy of a 55 year old.

      I am a very open, friendly, humorous, forgivable and intelligent woman. I am attractive. Financially independant. Actually a seasoned, self-confident person. Nevertheless, after such a long time, I am still in this emotional dependence on this man. With his narcissism.
      Who has a lot of empathy in himself and I actually know that he only uses it for his own purposes, to achieve his goal ... and last but not least, to perfect the cliché, I lent him money, of course, like many of his friends ....
      I know I should break off all contact with him yesterday if possible.

      As many of my predecessors have already written, it is such an incredibly difficult decision, also because a large, overlapping circle of friends has developed from it. I hope for you and also for me that we can get rid of such a person. We are worth more than the little that these people are willing to see in us !!

      reply
  1. Peter Kohn on October 25, 2017 at 12:56 pm
  2. Peter Heise on February 1st, 2018 at 7:57 pm
    • Mareike on April 12, 2019 at 8:55 pm
    • Bonny on April 19, 2019 at 9:04 pm
      • Sabine on May 12, 2019 at 6:49 pm
  3. Carina on February 18, 2018 at 9:20 pm
      • Cemre Yaba on February 19, 2020 at 1:00 p.m.
  4. Doris Schwarz on December 6, 2018 at 9:15 pm
    • Anuk on April 14, 2019 at 11:58 am
  5. Thorsten K on December 29, 2018 at 7:43 pm
  6. Hedocj on January 4th, 2019 at 8:39 pm
  7. Simone Müller on February 11, 2019 at 11:42 am
  8. Anja on March 20, 2019 at 9:29 am