Are you responsible for someone else's happiness?
Do you know the most important requirement for happiness?
We all want to be happier, but what is the requirement for happiness? This article is about a huge, fundamental mistake many make when it comes to becoming happier:
They don't take their life into their own hands but let others decide!
You are responsible for your happiness
An essential prerequisite for happiness is to live independently.
The fact is: It is not your husband's or wife's job to make you happy. Others don't have to realize what you need and put it at your feet.
So the problem isn't your boss, the idiot who still hasn't realized you deserved a promotion. You yourself are the problem. To be more precise: the problem is your passivity.
That sounds harsh at first, but let me explain to you how I mean that.
For a happy and fulfilling life, it is essential that we feel self-determined.
We need to feel that we can freely determine our lives; that we have it in our hands what happens to us and that we can actively shape our lives.
You are not a victim of your circumstances, but the designer of your life!
So don't wait for others to make you happy: the long-awaited approval from your mother, the boss's raise, your repentant ex who wants to win you back. That won't happen, or if it does, it won't bring you the happiness you were hoping for.
Prerequisite for happiness = living independently
You are the only person who can make you happy. So start getting active.
How do I mean?
Are you dissatisfied Then ask yourself: "What can I do to get happier?“Don't pass the responsibility on to others. Others may not be able to tell you what you need anyway. You have to come up with your own solutions.
Are you struggling with a problem? Then ask yourself: "What can I do to solve my problem?“Take your problems into your own hands, deal with them and develop your own ideas. If an idea should then be: I need professional help, then that is completely ok and a good result. Of course, you can always ask others for advice or seek professional help, as long as you are the one who makes a conscious choice.
Would you like to live differently than before? Then ask yourself: "What can I do to make my dreams come true?“Don't you think about winning the lottery now ... you don't need 10 million euros to make your dreams come true. Most of them are much cheaper to implement or completely free of charge. How about a no-obligation consultation if you want to start your own business? Or how about you sign up for singing lessons if your dream is to become a professional singer?
Take your life actively into your own hands
I know it's terrifying to think that we have to do something ourselves for our happiness. It would be so much easier if we could blame other people for it.
But look at it this way: other people are not always the smartest and often they don't have the time. If you take things into your own hands, on the other hand, you can do them right away and you also know best what you like and what you need.
I promise you it's an amazing feeling To take responsibility for your own life. It gives meaning to your actions and that makes it easier for you to get out of bed in the morning.
That's your life! Realize that you decide whether you are happy or not. You decide how you want to spend today and you decide with whom, where and how you want to spend your life.
To get active means:
- Act instead of just reacting
- Set your own goals and pursue them
- Actively changing things with which one is dissatisfied
- To understand your own thoughts, actions and behavior better and to change them if necessary
- Actively letting go of what makes you unhappy
- Finding out what you really want
- To be good to yourself
What to do when we cannot be self-determined
If self-determined action is an important prerequisite for happiness, what can we do if it is not possible to do our thing because we have to comply with the instructions of others?
Many jobs require us to be in a certain place at a certain time and do a certain task because another person tells us to. But nobody feels like doing something for someone else who you may not even really know if you are not behind the task yourself.
Whenever we feel we have to do something, we don't like to do it. This is a law of nature, from childhood.
So the best solution would be to quit the job and look for something else where we can work more self-determinedly. But if that doesn't work, there is another solution. In a certain way, we outsmart ourselves by pretending that we fully support the task assigned.
The key is the respective Internalize tasks and requirements (called internalization in technical jargon). So if we can't decide for ourselves, then at least we can try to understand why something needs to be done like this.
And then we make the concept our own. So we need to understand why what we do is important and why we should do it this way. In this way, we can fully support it ourselves, which immediately makes us happier.
Not necessarily the nicest solution, but if you have no other choice, it's definitely a good way to maintain a little bit of self-determination.
Through activity in a self-determined life
If we always only react, agree and do what others say, we live in an externally determined manner. But that is not good for us and results in dissatisfaction and listlessness.
A self-determined life requires that we become active ourselves. Others are not responsible for our happiness. It's us. We have to stand up for our rights.
So lay off the shackles of heteronomy and take your life into your own hands.
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